As one goes through life, one grows accustomed to daily life within one's milieu of quotidian activity, mainly within the loci of work or school. One "goes with the flow" of the daily ups and downs, ins and outs - which makes sense as adaptation to one's schedule or expectations provides for one to better be able to handle their daily occurrences. This is for better or for worse, however. Not only does it ease one's life, but also, perhaps, one's mind. It is such that due to this lack of thinking about one's activities, especially on a daily basis, that one falls into habits and routines (again, these help one along in their daily living, but also detract from one's thinking about their acitivities (again, for better or for worse)).
I have long experienced such "flows" of living, whether in elementary school, middle school, high school, college(s), yeshiva during college, yeshiva after college, or even (to some extent) working for BBYO during a few summers. And, of course, now in rabbinical school, as well (why should it be any different?).
However, vacations, especially travelling, offer a break from the quotidian, which serves as a mark for a different schedule, different activities, not only different from day-to-day, but from parts each day from another. I imagine this is what I like about travelling - a different schedule, different experiences, different milieus/milieux - it's different.
Perhaps to get a good result, should I mix it up every day and see it as different from the next?
I think, however, that there's more to this than as such. Rather, I also lack כוונה (mindfulness) about what I'm doing - I'm going through school, thinking, "Okay, I gotta get through this Tosafos," or "I gotta get through these simanim of the Shulhan Arukh," etc. I realized within the past week or two that I'm not applying much (I imagine some amount - I realize, especially on weekends (particularly on שבת (shabbas)), that I appreciate that I'm a rabbinical student and not involved in business or some other, to me, mundane activity (I say "to me", because I really do value working, it's just that for me that it doesn't really draw my interest as much as Jewish stuff.).
So, I think this is the task upon me now: To consider my position in school, whether it be in classes, or in seder time, etc. what it is that I'm doing, and, here's the difficult part, seeing it within a long-term perspective. This last point is particularly poignant as I know that when I'll be in the field, I will hearken fondly upon my rabbinical school years, so I have to think what is it about them that is so good. Moreover, I have to appreciate what I'm learning and why I'm learning it, too.
Much mental shifting is to come on this topic....שבת שלום Have a good, happy, and whole shabbas.
-----------
Tags: mindfulness, kavanah, yeshivah, school, thinking, going with the flow, quotidian, daily, thoughtful, life
1 comment:
one thing that you may appreciate- how easy things are now, and how few worries there are now for you. you don't have an inordinate amount of responsibilities, and you're doing something you love, and your life is filled with meaning and purpose (because you're working towards a tremendous goal, and doing something wortwhile with your time, talents, etc). you're learning about yourself, and you're just enjoying life. you seem happy with who you are, and are working on those aspects that you feel require improvement. Hope this made sense.
Post a Comment